How Child Development Works – Competence Builds Competence

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have talked about their children’s most rewarding and most challenging developmental periods. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. ***

Raising a child is like building a sturdy staircase. At the top of the staircase is a door marked ‘adulthood.’ Each stair is like a platform of competence, a set of skills gained in each stage.  Done reasonably well, each step positions us for the next, more advanced step. Competence today prepares our kids for competence tomorrow. As we build the staircase, important parenting steps include:

• letting our kids know they are loved and are worthy of love from day one
• teaching our kids kind-but-firm limits
• giving our kids consistent support academically, emotionally, and socially
• stepping back as kids learn skills so they can internalize them and become independent
• keeping a low-stress home environment so we don’t derail kids’ healthy development

Instead of borrowing worries from the future, research shows that if we focus on navigating the current stage well, competence will follow. Success breeds success. Competence builds competence.

Infancy: Secure attachment is key